30 Days Of Brenda #5("What is your definition of Love?")

Hope everyone had a wonderful long weekend...I enjoyed some much needed time with Bruce!

How does one really "define" love? What kind of "Love" are we defining? The love for your child (UNFETTERED AND UNCONDITIONAL)? The love for your family? The love for your friends? The love for your significant other? I hate that old break-up excuse (I love you , I'm just not "in-love" with you... Seriously, WTF??). For the purposes of this exercise, I will be addressing "spousal" love.

At 19, I thought I found "love".... and honestly, if it weren't for his lying and cheating, we would have remained together to this day--he's someone else's headache now, and, for the life of me, I can't understand why she has not gotten rid of him throughout his years of deceit and cheating with her, but hey, not everyone is strong enough to realize that they are better off without a person who drags them "down" instead of lifting you "up".

At 25, I thought I found "love".... but what I found was a companionship that never should have evolved into a  marriage and should have remained a friendship.

At 36, I found "Love".... examples of which are:

He sees me at my best (physically AND emotionally) and my worst (again, physically AND emotionally), and still decries how beautiful I am and how much he loves me.

I think we have both gained about 40 pounds since we met, yet it in no way affects our mutual attraction.

He's a Republican (who comes from a long line of Republicans) and doesn't mind my extremely opposing political viewpoints.

He will gladly eat (WITH full compliment!!) even my most disastrous recipe experiments.

I could go on and on, but you get the gist ;).

Defining "Love" is really hard to do...as I really can't fit something so esoteric into something as concrete as a definition. What I DO know, is that now, in my 40's, I realize that when a person experiences "True Love", they aren't afraid to feel it OR express it :).

Stay tuned for tomorrow, when you will read about "My Day".

30 Days Of Brenda #4 ("What I Ate Today")

Well, let's see...this gets to be a short and simple post. So far today, I have had a glass of orange juice, a sesame bagel w/cream cheese, and a Lactaid tablet. Drinking some water right now. Not feeling much of an appetite today, probably because I am very "down" today. Will likely make leftover pasta or pizza for dinner tonight--time to clean out the fridge!

30 Days of Brenda #3 ("My Parents")

Hm....My parents. Lets see. How in the world do I describe Dennis and Geraldine (Clinton) Weinhold. Well, no better way than the brutally honest way, right? He was an extremely physically abusive sadistic bastard and she was was a cravenly bitch who allowed the children she carried and bore to be brutalized.

The two people who conceived me and my siblings (I can't even really use the term "parents" for them--they don't deserve it), are, quite simply, abusive alcoholics who really shouldn't have been allowed to procreate, but since nature "allowed" them to, they are, by default, my "parents".

I would like to think that if I were a child in this day and age, that somebody ... SOMEBODY...would pick  up on the signs that the three of us always seemed to exhibit and save me and my siblings (at least now, more and more people are LEGALLY obligated to report suspected abuse...), but when I was growing up, everyone seemed to just mind their own business.

At any rate, DON'T feel sorry for me or my siblings....we survived. AND, more importantly, the three of us are (I like to think!) wonderful parents who love and take great pleasure in our children. Please, though....tune into your surroundings, and tell someone if you suspect that a child is being hurt. I would rather speak up and be wrong, then to say nothing and be right.. Remember.....APATHY HURTS.

WHEW! THAT'S out of the way!!!! Hope everyone is having a wonderful Labor Day weekend! Stay tuned for tomorrow, when you will find out what I have eaten for the day!

If you want to to a "30 days of...", Here are the topics--I and many others are on day #3

Day 01 – Introduce
Day 02 – Your first love
Day 03 – Your parents
Day 04 – What you ate today
Day 05 – Your definition of love
Day 06 – Your day
Day 07 – Your best friend
Day 08 – A moment
Day 09 – Your beliefs
Day 10 – What you wore today
Day 11 – Your siblings
Day 12 – What’s in your bag
Day 13 – This week

Day 14 – What you wore today
Day 15 – Your dreams
Day 16 – Your first kiss
Day 17 – Your favorite memory
Day 18 – Your favorite birthday
Day 19 – Something you regret
Day 20 – This month
Day 21 – Another moment
Day 22 – Something that upsets you
Day 23 – Something that makes you feel better
Day 24 – Something that makes you cry
Day 25 – A first
Day 26 – Your fears
Day 27 – Your favorite place
Day 28 – Something that you miss
Day 29 – Your aspirations
Day 30 – One last moment

30 Days Of Brenda day #2 ("My First Love")

Starting to like this idea more and more--sharing and baring for 30 days. The topic for today is "Your First Love". This is a very strange topic for me to revisit, but what the hell, you only live once, right? I'm going to be either brave or stupid by using his actual name--Troy Rudy. There...I said (typed) it. I don't even know if HE knows that I consider him that, but I do. Let me tell you a little bit about Troy. He was actually on my radar for a couple years ... in the summers, he lived in the same area I lived (he went to school in Philly) and frequented the same pool. I always thought he was cute (even though I don't think he considered himself cute--he was chunky and very aware of that fact), and had a HUGE personality...GINORMOUS personality! I honestly didn't think he ever noticed me in "that" way--until after he graduated. He came home, and he was not only BRIMMING with self confidence (not the fake, boisterous over-the-top kind of brimming, but genuinely smiling form the inside out!), and he had lost a bunch of weight--NOT that that made him any more attractive in my eyes, I had always thought he was cute. Out of nowhere, he asked me out. WOW.... I liked that! Now, allow me to reiterate, I had always kind of had a thing for him...and at that time, I was actually in this sort of pseudo-"relationship" (you  know...the high school kind...),  but that did NOT stop me from accepting his request. First it was movies and dinner, then it was Midnight Madness at the theater over by the Berkshire Mall (was it a Fox theater?? IDK...), then it was spending all available time with each other (including those "scenic drives" up to Skyline Drive to "pull over" ;) ). I had ended the aforementioned pseudorelationship and was really  head over heals for Troy. I met his mother (don't don't know if she really liked me...), his father (who he had a really strained relationship with) and I already knew his brother (not well, but he was in the same circle of friends). To me, Troy was SUCH a beautiful light in my life. My home life was horrible....HORRIBLE (more on that on another day) and Troy and I had a VERY strong mutual affection. You know how many teen romances end, though.....and sadly, ours did. Every relationship has its ups and downs, and ours did as well, but I have always (ALWAYS!!) thought of him fondly through the years (we haven't seen each other since 1986). He got me through a LOT of ugliness with my family.... He actually tracked me down on Facebook and contacted me (and sent me a friend request), and while I would  LOVE  to either write or talk to him and see how his life has been, I think he just wanted to find me, see what I was up to, but not really "communicate" -- which is fine, whatever he is comfortable with :). At any rate,with all this being said, I truly hope that my  "first love", Troy Rudy, is leading the happy life that all of us deserve.

Boy, do I feel all nekkid and vulnerable from baring and sharing right now!   Stay tuned for tomorrow's topic, "My Parents" <<<  eesh.....

Spa Cloth & Other Musings

Crocheted this spa cloth a couple days ago--made from this pattern I found on the Lion Brand website . Very Loofa-y!!

I was SO happy that I got to get a little "me" time this morning--I used it to go browse through The Heaven & Nature Store  ...  I'm having a nose-gasm as I'm typing because I am smelling the White Patchouli perfume oil I came home with that is on my wrist pulse point--wonder if Bruce will like it as much as I do? We'll see ;).

30 Days of Brenda

I have seen this floating around the blogosphere for a little bit, so I have decided to jump on in and give you 30 days of....um.....ME!

I will break it up over the next 30 days, but to start, I am:

a 42 yo SAHM who is on what I call, parenthood part deux with my Soul Mate! We have been together since the very first date (and will be Married 5 yrs on September 16th!!!

I'm SUPER in love with my children (from 2 all the way up to 22!) always have my inner MaMa Grizzly ready in case something threatens the (No, not Sara Palin's grizzlies...the "others" that she "didn't" speak about).

I laugh, I cry, I make fun of people  (and myself too! Don't judge :)

More Baby Crochet!!

Love this! This was just something I whipped up to use up a small amount of that wine color that I had. It's SO soft and cuddly with a chenille-like feel. Loved using this yarn -vs- the double cotton strands for the previous bunny (which is cute, but a little stiffer--not that a baby would care.).I'm really hoping things will take off soon...although I really think I need to either build a photo box or break down and buy one so that I can have some better photos. At any rate, stay tuned!