Saturday, September 4, 2010

30 Days Of Brenda day #2 ("My First Love")

Starting to like this idea more and more--sharing and baring for 30 days. The topic for today is "Your First Love". This is a very strange topic for me to revisit, but what the hell, you only live once, right? I'm going to be either brave or stupid by using his actual name--Troy Rudy. There...I said (typed) it. I don't even know if HE knows that I consider him that, but I do. Let me tell you a little bit about Troy. He was actually on my radar for a couple years ... in the summers, he lived in the same area I lived (he went to school in Philly) and frequented the same pool. I always thought he was cute (even though I don't think he considered himself cute--he was chunky and very aware of that fact), and had a HUGE personality...GINORMOUS personality! I honestly didn't think he ever noticed me in "that" way--until after he graduated. He came home, and he was not only BRIMMING with self confidence (not the fake, boisterous over-the-top kind of brimming, but genuinely smiling form the inside out!), and he had lost a bunch of weight--NOT that that made him any more attractive in my eyes, I had always thought he was cute. Out of nowhere, he asked me out. WOW.... I liked that! Now, allow me to reiterate, I had always kind of had a thing for him...and at that time, I was actually in this sort of pseudo-"relationship" (you  know...the high school kind...),  but that did NOT stop me from accepting his request. First it was movies and dinner, then it was Midnight Madness at the theater over by the Berkshire Mall (was it a Fox theater?? IDK...), then it was spending all available time with each other (including those "scenic drives" up to Skyline Drive to "pull over" ;) ). I had ended the aforementioned pseudorelationship and was really  head over heals for Troy. I met his mother (don't don't know if she really liked me...), his father (who he had a really strained relationship with) and I already knew his brother (not well, but he was in the same circle of friends). To me, Troy was SUCH a beautiful light in my life. My home life was horrible....HORRIBLE (more on that on another day) and Troy and I had a VERY strong mutual affection. You know how many teen romances end, though.....and sadly, ours did. Every relationship has its ups and downs, and ours did as well, but I have always (ALWAYS!!) thought of him fondly through the years (we haven't seen each other since 1986). He got me through a LOT of ugliness with my family.... He actually tracked me down on Facebook and contacted me (and sent me a friend request), and while I would  LOVE  to either write or talk to him and see how his life has been, I think he just wanted to find me, see what I was up to, but not really "communicate" -- which is fine, whatever he is comfortable with :). At any rate,with all this being said, I truly hope that my  "first love", Troy Rudy, is leading the happy life that all of us deserve.

Boy, do I feel all nekkid and vulnerable from baring and sharing right now!   Stay tuned for tomorrow's topic, "My Parents" <<<  eesh.....

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